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Relating to an S personality

Updated: Oct 4, 2022

So let me be honest. I'm not an S personality. In the DISC personality assessment, I'm an I,D,C, with no S. My wife, on the other hand, is an I,S personality. In fact, 69% of the population has an S personality. I'm thinking this makes learning to relate and communicate to someone with an S personality kind of important, both for me and for us all! As an I,D,C personality, I'm a natural leader. That's kind of cool, but it also means I'm very prone to missing the relationship in order to get something accomplished. Well, I used to work in hospice and I know that one day I won't be able to accomplish much, but the relationships I had will mean everything! I invited a friend to coffee this week and he responded that he needed to meet later, because he was taking this time for his family. What a brilliant idea! I've never met anyone who later regretted spending time with their family, although I've met many who wished they hadn't worked so much and missed time with their family. My friend has his priorities straight! Fortunately for the S types, minimizing relationships is not a concern they are likely to have. S types are people focused people for sure! They love security, especially in relationships. S types are characterized by being: - Reliable - Loyal - Systematic - Good listeners and Good mediators. They are also great team players, as they don't crave the limelight and want everyone to feel accepted and secure. They want to be appreciated for the steadiness they bring to others and to a team. If you provide them a secure environment and appreciate them for their contributions, you'll win with them and gain their loyalty for sure! Also, be sure to provide a friendly atmosphere for them. This means not riding them like Seabiscuit, or making them feel confronted or threatened. Put relationship and understanding first and relationship with them is what you'll have... all else will follow. Additionally, foster mutual trust and a team approach with them. They love that, and when you do too, they'll love that you love that and will love you in return! Last weekend was the airshow in Virginia Beach. I like the airshow, but am not very fond of the base-traffic. However, my wife's family wanted to drive in from out of town and view the airshow from the base. I really didn't want to go, but I really love my wife and her family is very dear, so... I decided to forego my wish to view the airshow from off-base nearby, and to see the show from the base with the family. It was a wonderful show and the abilities of the pilots and aircraft are truly astounding. The best part by far though was my wife's enjoyment of being with her family and her heartfelt gratitude that I had put away my wishes and embraced her desire to be with her family. Sure, it took a little extra time to get in, but the happiness and appreciation that came my way was more than worth it! Afterward, she was just glowing in the memory of being together.

That's what happens when you lay aside whatever you are trying to do and learn to relate to an S personality. Oh, and another tip. If you are a hard-driving type and you add relating to your task list and make it a priority to relate well your people, they will love you for it and will appreciate you so much that they will carry your load for you and get the job done! That's what I call a win-win! It's kind of "leading through relating"! Another thing, don't make big decisions and then spring them on them, without first giving them time to think it over, ask questions, give input, and to buy-in. Those who weigh-in, buy-in! That's especially true of S types. If I can help your team members to understand their own personality and that of others, please reach out to discuss a workshop to enhance communication and appreciation, and create a healthy environment, where people love to be!

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1 Comment

Sep 29, 2022

As a strong S, you are speaking my language! Spot on!

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